BUTTERFLY KISSES
My newlywed husband said the same thing every morning. “You’re beautiful today.”
One glance in the mirror revealed that it was far from the truth.
A skinny girl with mashed hair on one side of her head and no makeup smiled back at me. I could feel my sticky morning breath.
“Liar,” I shot back with a grin.
It was my usual response. My mother’s first husband was not a kind man and his verbal and physical abuse forced her and her two children to find a safe place. He showed up on her doorstep one day with roses. She let him in and he beat her with those roses and took advantage of her. Nine months later she gave birth to a 9 lb. 13 oz. baby girl — me.
The harsh words we heard growing up took root. I had trouble seeing myself as someone of value. I had been married two years when I surprised myself. My husband wrapped his arms around me and told me I was beautiful.
“Thank you,” I said.
The same thin girl with the mousy brown hair still stared back at me in the mirror, but somehow the words had finally blossomed in my heart.
A lot of years have passed. My husband has grey in his hair. I’m no longer skinny. Last week I woke up and my husband’s face was inches from mine.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
I covered my mouth, trying to hide my morning breath. He reached down and kissed my face.
“What I do every morning,” he said.
He leaves in the early hours of the morning while I sleep. I miss our morning conversations, but I had not realized that he continued to tell me that he loved me even while I slept. When he left, I rolled over and hugged my pillow. I envisioned the picture of me lightly snoring with my mouth open and giggled.
What a man! My husband understands my past. He’s been beside me as I’ve grown from an unsure young girl to a confident woman, mother, speaker and author.
But I’m not sure that he understands the part he played in that transition. The words I heard growing up pierced my soul, yet his words pierced even deeper.
This Anniversary Day I plan to wake early. I want to tell Richard how much I love him. He may look in the mirror and see an extra pound or two, or wish for the day when his hair was dark and curly, but all I’ll see is the man who saw something in me when I couldn’t see it myself, and who leaves butterfly kisses, even after twenty-three years of marriage.
蝶吻
我的新婚丈夫每天早晨都对我说出同样的话。“你今天真美。”
只需往镜子里一瞥就能揭示他说的根本不是事实。
镜中的女孩瘦瘦的，乱乱的头发倒向头的一侧，没有任何化妆，她微笑地望着我。我还能感到早晨起来嘴里不大好闻的气味。
“说谎，”我咧着嘴笑，回敬了他一句。
我总是这样回敬我的丈夫。我母亲的第一个丈夫可不是个善良的男人，他粗暴的语言攻击和身体虐待迫使我母亲带着两个孩子去寻找一个安全的地方。有一天他出现在母亲的门前，手里拿着玫瑰花。她让他进了门，但他却用玫瑰花打她，并强行占了她的便宜。9个月后她生了一个9磅12盎司重的女孩――就是我。
长大过程中我们听到的刺耳的话语也扎根在我心底。我难以把自己看作一个有价值的人。结婚两年后我感到惊讶了。我的丈夫双臂拥着我告诉我，我是美丽的。
“谢谢你，”我说。
同样瘦弱，一头灰棕色头发的女孩在镜中盯着我，但是温柔的话语终于在我的心中开花了。
许多年过去了。我的丈夫己经长出了灰发。我也不再骨瘦如柴。上周的一天早晨我醒来时，我丈夫的脸离我只有几英寸。
“你在干什么？” 我问。
我捂住嘴，不想让他闻到嘴里的气味。他俯身过来亲吻我的脸。
“做我每天早晨都做的事。”他说。
他清晨就得离开家，我常常还在熟睡。我因我们早上没有谈话而感到遗憾，但是我还未曾意识到他一直在告诉我他爱我，哪怕是在我还睡着时。当他离开后，我在床上翻过身去，抱着我的枕头。我想象着我睡觉时轻轻打鼾，嘴巴还微微张着的样子，不禁咯咯笑了。
这样一个男人！我丈夫知道我的过去。在我从一个不自信的年轻女子变成一个成熟自信的女人、母亲、演讲者、作家的过程中，他一直在我身边。
但是我不确信他是否知道在这一变化过程中他起着怎样的作用。伴我长大的话语曾刺入我的灵魂，但他的话语更是深深地感动了我的灵魂。
今年的结婚周年纪念日我打算早点醒来。我要告诉理查德我是多么地爱他。照镜子时，他也许会发现又增加了一两磅体重，或者期望有一天他的头发又是乌黑拳曲的，但是我所看到的是这样一个男人，是他发现我身上具备什么东西，而我未能发现，是他天天给我留下蝶吻，即使是在结婚23年后。
（文章来源：英语沙龙）
